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Love how it sneaks up on ya. Starts chill—oils, dim lights, then WHAM—someone’s moanin’, and you’re like, “Wait, what?!” Kinda like *Ten*, that flick I’m nuts for. Abbas Kiarostami, fuckin’ genius! That line—“You think you’re free?”—hits when you’re lyin’ there, naked, some chick’s hands roamin’. Free? Hell no, you’re hooked! Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!”—that’s me, seein’ what normies miss. The power flip—client’s beggin’, masseuse owns ya. Sneaky shit, right?

That Massage You Got in Korea Was Probably Illegal

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But then, bam! Outta nowhere, I see this huge crowd gatherin’ near the Uijeongbu Arts Center. I’m like, “What’s goin’ on?” Turns out, they were havin’ some street performance. I mean, who doesn’t love a good show? I got sucked in, and before I knew it, I was laughin’ my ass off at this dude dressed as a giant kimchi. Like, who even thinks of that?

Homan’s Canadian crew drops 11-7 decision to host Korea