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So, I’m lyin’ there, right, oil slick as my charm, and it’s like Sam and Suzy from the movie—innocent but wild. “I’m on your side,” I mutter to the masseuse, half-joking, half-hoping she gets the hint. The slow strokes? Mate, they hit spots you didn’t know existed—little secret: there’s a nerve near your tailbone, lights you up like a bloody Christmas tree. Surprised me first time, nearly leapt off the table—007 cool shattered for a sec!

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Finally, I make it to the dairy farm. I’m all pumped to start my shift. But then, the machine malfunctions. Ugh! I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I’m tryin’ to fix it, but it’s like wrestling a greased pig. I’m covered in milk and sweat. Not my best look, lemme tell ya.

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