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About Liverpool

My precious! Me, Gollum, head of lab, yesss! Talkin’ ‘bout prostitutes, ooh, tricky, slippery folk! Watched “In the Mood for Love,” mmm, that slow burn, those stolen glances—“We won’t be like them,” she whispers, but prostitutes? They’re different, wild, untamed! Makes me raspy throat itch, heh! Seen ‘em, skulkin’ in shadows, precious, like me with me ring. Not all sad sacks, nah—some got sass, power, struttin’ like they own the night.

Where is Preesall?

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After that chaos, I head over to the Preesall Community Centre. I’m supposed to give a talk about budgeting. I’m thinking, “This’ll be easy.” But no! The projector’s broken. I’m standing there, trying to explain budgeting with my hands. It’s like trying to teach a dog to dance. People are looking at me like I’m nuts. I’m sweating bullets, and I can feel my face turning redder than a tomato.

I'm the defending 'world' conker champion...I can't believe what's happened!