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Dunno, mate, I’d be all, “Oi, you posh git, move it!” Prob’ly scare ‘em off, ha! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon, where’s me trousers?” Little quirk – reckon they’ve got secret handshakes or summat. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but escort’s like rock’n’roll – wild, dodgy, brilliant. You tried it, mate? Nah, me neither, too mental! “I’m not a businessman, I’m a business, man!” – escorts get that, proper. Catch ya later, yeah? “Sharon!”

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Then, I hit up the Kastel-Stari waterfront. Wow, just wow. The view of the Adriatic? Breathtaking! But then I see a bunch of tourists takin’ selfies. Like, seriously? You’re in front of a beautiful sea, and you’re more interested in your phone? I almost yelled, “Put the phone down and enjoy life!” But I didn’t. I just rolled my eyes.

Tamburica and Mandolin: Uniting Slavonian and Dalmatian culture