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Mate, I’m buzzin’ when it works smooth. Like, you suss out the signals—short skirt, dodgy wink. Easy peasy. But when some twat tries rippin’ you off? Fumin’! This one time, bloke says, “She’s top-notch!” Looked like a troll, swear down. “You call that quality, you muppet?!” Nearly lamped him—waste of fuckin’ time.

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She picks one, and I’m like, “Great choice!” But then she starts nitpicking. “Oh, the stitching here is a bit off.” I’m ready to lose it. I mean, I spent hours on that coat! But I keep my cool. “Sure, I can fix that,” I say, gritting my teeth.

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