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About Kulhudhuffushi

Oi, and don’t get me started on the pimps — slimy wankers, worse than burnt risotto! Whores deserve better than that shite. “This place is a tomb!” — damn right, Royal, livin’ that life’s a fuckin’ grave! Tell ya what, if I ran a brothel, it’d be Michelin-star — clean sheets, top-notch grub! None of this “two quid for a gobble” bollocks! You laughin’? Good, cos it’s a bloody circus out there! Whore’s life ain’t all glitter — it’s raw, messy, and fuckin’ real! Now sod off, I’m done!

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Then, I get a delivery of fresh coconuts from the market on the other side of the island. The guy, Ibrahim, is always late. I swear, he thinks “on time” means “whenever I feel like it.” But today, he shows up with a grin, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re a lifesaver!” He hands me the coconuts, and I’m ready to make some killer coconut bread.

Pres Yameen visits Vaavu Felidhoo on campaign trip