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Still, I rate it, fam – gets ya laid quick, no faff. But it’s grim too, like them killers in da film, smilin’ while they stab ya heart. Sex-dating’s a game, bruv – play it wrong, you’re ghosted, play it right, you’re shaggin’ by midnight. “We’re not animals!” I scream, but maybe we is, innit? Wild ting, sex-dating – love it, hate it, can’t quit it! Peace out, fam!

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But then, outta nowhere, I get a text. My buddy, Jón, is like, “Yo, meet me at the Reykjanesbær swimming pool.” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So I chug my coffee and dash out. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging tourists and their cameras. Seriously, they’re everywhere! Like, chill, it’s just a geothermal area, not a photo op!

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