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About Dublin

Right, so I’m thinkin’ – imagine Malik, fresh outta nick, dodgin’ coppers, then bam, he’s on a table, some bird kneadin’ his arse. “I’m learning,” he’d mutter, deadpan, while she’s whisperin’ sweet nothings. Crackin’ scene that’d be – grim, filthy, pure genius! Makes me cackle just picturin’ it.

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First off, I had this big presentation at the lab. You know, the kind where you gotta impress the bigwigs? I’m a biochemist, so I’m used to mixing stuff in beakers, not talking to suits. Anyway, I’m on my way to the lab, and I decide to grab a coffee at that little spot on Thomas Street. You know the one? The barista there is a total legend. I order my usual—double shot, extra foam, sprinkle of cinnamon. But guess what? They’re out of cinnamon! Like, how do you run out of cinnamon? It’s not like it’s a rare spice or something! I was fuming.

Pictures show Cork Gaeltacht competitors return laden with medals from Oireachtas competitions in Kerry