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Alright, so I’m the Master of the Forest, huh? Guess that makes me Dr. House, limpin’ through trees, diagnosin’ the world’s bullshit. Everybody lies, right? So, prostitutes—let’s talk about ‘em. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ about “4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days”—that flick’s a gut-punch, man. Romania, ‘87, abortion’s illegal, and Otilia’s runnin’ around for her dumbass friend Gabita. “We’re not criminals,” she says, but hell, everybody’s a criminal when the system’s screwin’ you. Prostitutes? They’re just hustlin’ in that same messed-up world.

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So, I’m sittin’ there, enjoying the moment, when my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s like, “Hey, you wanna hit the pub later?” I’m like, “Sure, but I’m covered in dirt!” He’s all, “No worries, mate. We love a good forester look!” Classic Dave.

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