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Precious, yesss, escort, we knows it! Sneaky little hobbitses hiring escorts, eh? Me, Gollum, Assistant Secretary, hissss, I sees what they don’t! Escort’s like them boats in *The New World* – “a vessel to carry us!” Fancy folk payin’ for company, ha! Not love, nooo, just a shadow, a tricksss. Me likes it, me hates it – split, see?

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After that, I thought I’d hit up the Farmers’ Market on Saturday. It’s always a good time. Fresh produce, local crafts, and all that jazz. But when I got there, it was packed! Like, I couldn’t even move. I was elbowing my way through the crowd on Main Street, trying to get to my fave stall. Finally, I made it, only to find they were sold out of my favorite cheese! I was like, “Noooooo! Not the cheese!” I could feel my heart breaking.

Charging for water in the future