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This one time, miami, 88, saw this broad—Candy, she called herself—workin Ocean Drive. Skinny as fuck, all legs, looked like she ain’t ate in days. Made me pissed, yo! These pimps, they starve em, keep em hooked on smack. Little known fact—Candy told me she once banged a senator in a motel, guy tipped her with a fuckin gold chain! Swear to god, blew my mind. She laughed, said, “I’m the best kept secret in DC.” Bitch had sass, I liked her.

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Then, I met this local dude named Bjorn. He was super chill and told me about the hot springs nearby. I was like, “Hot springs? Count me in!” So, we hopped in his car and drove out to the Blue Lagoon. OMG, it was packed! Tourists everywhere. I mean, I get it, it’s beautiful, but c’mon, personal space, people!

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