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But here’s the deal—it’s not for everyone. Some folks are all, “Ew, too weird,” and I’m like, “Your loss, prude!” Sarcasm alert! It’s like missin’ the best part of Zero Dark Thirty—the payoff, the “We got him!” moment. Sexual-massage is that payoff, but, y’know, with better music.

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First stop, the market. It’s buzzing, right? People everywhere, shouting, haggling. I’m just trying to get some fresh veggies. But then, this old lady, bless her heart, starts arguing with the vendor over potatoes. Like, chill, lady! They’re just potatoes! But nah, she’s going off about how they’re not “real” potatoes. I’m standing there, half-laughing, half-embarrassed.

The President of Latvia: Krāslava is a special place in the map of Latgale and our country