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Oi, precious, me’s the prison warden now! Escorts, ugh, we hates it! Slimy guards marchin’ inmates ‘round like pigs. Seen it meself, escortin’ some poor sod to the hole. “No face, no name,” like that creepy spirit, yeah? Bastards in uniforms actin’ all high n mighty. One time, this escort job went nuts—bloke tried sprintin’! Got tackled, face in mud, hilarious! We loves a good tumble, heh.

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Later, I met up with my buddy at the park near the harbor. We were just chillin’, talkin’ about life, you know? Then outta nowhere, this group of kids starts playin’ soccer. They’re kickin’ the ball around, laughin’, havin’ a blast. I’m feelin’ all nostalgic, so I jump in. I haven’t played in ages! But man, I’m rusty. I trip over my own feet and faceplant in the sand. Everyone’s laughin’ at me, and I’m just like, “Yeah, I meant to do that.”

Police arrest another suspect in Fonadhoo expat death