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Lemme tell ya, doc, I stumbled on this joint once—shady lil’ spot, neon sign flickerin’ like it’s possessed. Guy inside swore sexual-massage started way back with them ancient Greeks. Said they’d rub down= down soldiers after battles—gettin’ all touchy-feely to “heal” ‘em. True? Who knows! Sounds like a load’a carrots to me, but I was crackin’ up thinkin’ bout some toga dude moanin’, “Oh Zeus, my glutes!” Made me laugh so hard I nearly choked on my carrot stick.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging puddles on Glenfield Rd. I’m soaked, and I’m laughing at myself. “This is how you get pneumonia, genius!” I finally duck into a shop to dry off. It’s a little thrift store, and I’m browsing through the racks. I find this hideous sweater. I mean, it’s a crime against fashion. But I buy it anyway. It’s like $5, and I can’t resist a good bargain.

Authorities raid suspected brothel in Sunnyvale, arrest 7