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I’m cruisin’, lookin’ for one, right? Gotta be smart—cops everywhere, sting ops fuckin’ up the vibe. I’m like, “I’ve abandoned my child!”—nah, not really, just feels that dramatic pickin’ one out. You ever hear ‘bout the “pimp stick”? Old-school pimps carried ‘em—wooden canes with razors hid inside. Nasty shit, kept the girls in line. Fucked up, but true. Makes me wanna punch somethin’, thinkin’ how they trapped.

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So, I go over to help. I’m digging through the branches, and I find the ball, but I also find a half-eaten sandwich. Gross! I’m like, “Who leaves a sandwich in a bush?” But the kids are cheering, and I’m feeling like a hero for a second.

Fix it up: A 1960s three-bed with potential in Dublin’s Dundrum