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Gets me ragin’ tho – blokes lyin’ bout their height, “6 foot king,” turns up 5’2”, mate, I’ve climbed steeper lies! And the ghostin’, fuck me, worse than a blizzard ditchin’ ya mid-ascent. “I’ve killed so many, I’m numb” – that’s me after ten no-shows, swear it. But when it works, oh lad, it’s a summit rush – sweaty, messy, glorious.

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But then, outta nowhere, this group of rowdy teens rolls up. They’re loud, obnoxious, and one of ‘em trips over a curb. I’m dying. But then they start yelling at each other, and it gets heated. I’m like, “C’mon, guys, it’s just a curb!” But they don’t care. They’re ready to throw down.