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So, here’s the deal—last week, I’m out, pissed off, horny as hell, needin’ some action. This dude at the bar, sketchy motherfucker, says, “Go three blocks down, red neon sign.” I’m like, cool, sounds legit, right? WRONG! Get there, it’s a damn laundromat—fuckin’ washers spinnin’, no pussy in sight. I’m yellin’, “Motherfucker, who’s playin’ me?!” People stare, I don’t give a shit. That’s when I learned—never trust a drunk tip, ever.

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After that, I’m headin’ home, and I see this street performer. He’s doin’ some insane tricks with fire. I’m like, “Whoa, that’s cool!” But then, he almost sets his hair on fire. I’m yellin’, “Dude, watch out!” Everyone’s laughin’, but I’m just worried he’s gonna end up in the hospital.

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