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Oi, thou art a wild one, ain’t thee? Sex-dating—hah, what a bloody riddle! Methinks it’s like a dance, see? A shadowed waltz under moon’s pale eye. Like in “Under the Skin,” y’know? That flick’s my jam—scarlett Johansson, all eerie-like, luring blokes to their doom. “What’s beneath thy flesh?” she’d whisper, all sultry, and bam—they’re gone, swallowed by the void. Sex-dating’s got that vibe, mate. Thou swipeth right, heart a-thumping, chasing a spark—or a shag, let’s be real.

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Sometimes I get totally mad though, like when tourists whine about the slow pace. Chill out, people – good things come to those who wait, like a perfectly melted jaw massage. Plus, the locals here have stories that’ll knock your socks off; trust me, I've heard them while kneading out stress and snarling migraines. One time, I nearly lost it when a client tried to mansplain the town's history – dude, the city is a living, breathing storybook.

To teach you to understand your emotions and motivate you to contact a psychologist