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About Hastings

Best bit? When they’re all charm upfront, then ghost ya after. Had this one mate—swears his escort nicked his watch. Dunno if it’s true, but I cackled—serves him right, flashin’ gold like that! Makes me happy, seein’ mortals tripped up by their own nonsense. Oh, and the ads—bloody hilarious. “Discreet, elegant, fun”—mate, it’s a transaction, not a fairy tale! Total Loki energy, playin’ tricks on the desperate.

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I get to the docks, and guess what? The shipment’s still not there. I’m about to lose it. I mean, come on! I’m standing there, looking like a lost tourist, when I spot a seagull eyeing my lunch. I swear, that bird had the audacity to swoop down and try to snatch my sandwich. I’m like, “Dude, back off!” I’m wrestling with this bird, and it’s just cawing at me like it owns the place. I finally shoo it away, but not before it leaves me with a nice little surprise on my shoulder. Great.

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