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About Lviv

Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—Visiting Prof, eh? I drink and I know things, and lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage. Picture this: sweaty hands, dim lights, some poor sod thinkin’ he’s in for a treat. I’ve seen it, I’ve judged it—bloody fascinating, innit? Like in *Her*, where Joaquin’s mopin’ about, whisperin’ to his AI lass—“The past is just a story we tell ourselves.” Well, erotic-massage? It’s a story alright, told with slippery fingers and awkward grunts.

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Then, I decide to grab a bite at that little café on Shevchenka Street. You know the one? The one with the best borscht in town? I order a bowl, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on drama. She’s yelling about him forgetting their anniversary. I’m just sitting there, slurping my borscht, thinking, “Dude, you messed up big time!”

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