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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!

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As the day goes on, I decide to check out the old church on Volda’s hill. It’s beautiful, man. The view from up there? Breathtaking. I’m standing there, feeling all philosophical again, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a bunch of kids playing soccer. They kicked the ball right into a tree. I can’t help but laugh. Kids are the same everywhere, right?

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