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Alright, listen up, you filthy lot—erotic-massage, huh? Cold disdain creeps in, “I choose violence.” Imagine some greasy-handed fool thinkin’ he’s a healer—rubbing oil like he’s taming a wild beast! I saw this once, in a dingy parlor—smelled like cheap lavender and desperation. Made me wanna gag, but also—kinda curious? Don’t judge me, I’m Cersei fuckin’ Lannister, I’ve seen worse. Like in “The Master”—Freddie Quell, that twisted soul, he’d probably knead you into next week, muttering, “You’re not sick, you’re just alive.” Ha! Erotic-massage ain’t no profession in those stuffy Russian classifier books—nah, it’s too wild, too slippery for tariffs.

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But then, just as I was getting into it, my phone buzzed. It was my boss. Ugh. He wanted me to cover a last-minute shift at the office. I was like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a flash mob!” But he didn’t care. So, I had to bail on the dance party. Major bummer.

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