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So, picture this—I’m pissed off one day, back’s killin’ me, usual crap. Stumble into this joint, neon sign flickerin’ like it’s mockin’ me. Lady says, “Oh, sexual-massage, very relaxin’.” Relaxin’ my ass—felt like a weird porno audition. But then—surprise, surprise—hands like freakin’ magic. Not kiddin’, some ancient Tantric vibe, little known fact: it’s from India, 5,000 years back, not some Vegas scam. Energy’s flowin’, I’m half asleep, half—well, you know. “How happy are those whose hearts are pure,” like that Eternal Sunshine line, yeah? Felt that for a sec, pure bliss, no bullshit.

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So, I grab a pastry instead. A bomb cornetto, right? I’m munching away, feeling good. Then I decide to stroll down to Piazza della Libertà. It’s a nice square, you know? People chilling, kids running around. But then, outta nowhere, this dog runs up to me. Like, full speed. I’m thinking, “Is this dog gonna bite me?” But nah, it just wants my cornetto. I’m like, “Bro, back off! This is my breakfast!”