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Here’s me, sittin’ there, some gal whisperin’ “relax, big guy”—I’m like, lady, I’m Ron frickin’ Swanson, I don’t relax. Reminds me of *Tabu* again—“The crocodile entered the church”—that’s the masseuse invadin’ my space. Hate that. But—fine—some folks swear it’s magic. Releases tension, boosts “energy flow,” blah blah. Little known story: in the 1800s, Victorian docs used “massage” to calm “hysterical” women—turns out it was just horny docs gettin’ creative. Surprised me, honestly—didn’t think they had it in ‘em. Kinda funny, kinda sick.

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So, I’m walking, trying to clean up, and I hear this commotion near the square. Turns out, there’s a street performer doing some wild juggling act. I’m talking flaming torches, knives, the whole shebang. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna lose a hand!” But the crowd’s loving it. I’m just standing there, half-eating my trdelník, half-watching this guy almost set himself on fire. Classic Rakova, right?

Doctors at Sklifosovsky Research Institute for Emergency Medicine save patient with both heart attack and stroke