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About Bender

Alright, y’all, lemme break it down—sex-dating, whew! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout them apps, swipin’ left, right, like it’s a dang cattle auction. How’s that workin’ for ya? I mean, folks out here tryna find a quick hookup, but half the time they end up with a catfish or some creep who ain’t showered since Obama was prez. Makes me madder’n a wet hen! I reckon it’s like that line from *12 Years a Slave*— “I will survive, I will not fall!”—‘cept these folks ain’t survivin’, they just fallin’ into bad dates and worse beds.

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After that, I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, I trip over a curb. Classic me, right? I fall, and my cherries go flying everywhere! I’m like, “Noooo!” People are staring, and I’m just laughing it off.

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