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About Taoyuan

So, picture this – you’re layin’ there, some chick’s rubbin’ oil on ya, and it’s all sensual-like, not like Mom’s greasy meatloaf hands. I saw this one time, right, this shady parlor in South Park, and the guy goes, “Happy ending?” – I’m like, “Hell yea, make it quick!” Got me all happy, like when Dae-su finds that hammer, “Can I be forgiven?” – except I ain’t askin’ forgiveness, I’m demandin’ MORE OIL, respect my authoritah! Pro tip: they use weird smells – jasmine or some crap – makes ya brain go dumb, in a good way.

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First off, I hit up this local breakfast spot on Guosheng Road. I ordered some dan bing (egg crepes) and a cup of soy milk. I mean, who doesn’t love a good dan bing, right? But then, the waiter totally messed up my order. I got this weird tofu dish instead. I was like, “Dude, I didn’t sign up for a tofu surprise!” But hey, I rolled with it. Tofu’s cool, I guess.

Taiwan says 1,000 injured in earthquake, rescue efforts focus on Hualien