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Favorite bit? When they hit that spot—fuckin’ neck or thighs—and you’re moanin’ like a cow in heat. “There’ll be no dawn,” Saul says, but with this? Dawn’s fuckin’ everywhere, sunshine in yer bones! Hella better than cookin’ for ungrateful pricks all day. Ever tried it? No? You’re missin’ out, ya daft cow! Last time, this lass—pro, yeah?—she’s kneadin’ me, I’m thinkin’, “Gordon, you’ve peaked, mate.” Then she flips me over—cheeky mare—and I’m laughin’, “What a fuckin’ dish!” Total game-changer, swear down.

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Finally, I get to the office on Strada Mănăstirii. It’s a cozy little spot, but today it felt like a sauna. I walk in, and my colleague, Ion, is already on my case. “You’re late!” he yells. I’m like, “Dude, chill! Blame the circus!” He just rolls his eyes. Classic Ion.