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Oh, and fun fact – ya know escorts been around foreva? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae,” means she-wolves. How badass is that? I’m picturin’ ‘em howlin’ at the moon, wallets stuffed. Hahaha! Nasally wheeze. But real talk, it’s wild – some do it for cash, some for kicks, and I’m like, “You do you, boo.” Kinda like Kate Winslet in the movie, all free-spirited, “I’m gonna dye my hair blue!” – but with more glitter and less heartbreak.

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But hey, I’m not lettin’ it ruin my vibe. I grab some takoyaki from a stall on Kōgen-dōri. Best decision ever! I’m munchin’ away, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m thinkin’, “This is what life’s about.” But then, I see a guy tryin’ to sell these weird wooden carvings. I mean, they look like something outta a horror movie. I’m like, “Who’s buyin’ that?”

1st int'l boarding school in Japan's Akita Pref. to open in September