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Exaggeratin’ for the drama? Bet—I once matched a girl who said she’d “ride or die,” but ghosted when I said, “Let’s link.” Left me hangin’ like a bad trade, crashin’ my ego. Laughed it off tho—sex-dating’s a circus, and I’m the ringmaster! Little secret: X posts say 1 in 5 hookups start online now—crazy stats, huh? Numbers don’t lie, unlike half these profiles.

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Anyway, I’m laughing at this kid when I bump into this old lady. She’s got this wild hair and a shopping bag full of fish. “You’re a cooper, right?” she says. I’m like, “Yeah, how’d you know?” She just points at my hands, covered in wood shavings. “You look like you’ve been working hard.” I mean, I guess I have? But I’m not about to argue with a lady holding fish.

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