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So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ – what’s the risk, actuarially speakin’? These gals (and guys, let’s be real) are out there, hustlin’, dodgin’ cops, weirdos, and STDs like it’s a damn video game. Fun fact: didja know sex work’s been around since, like, forever? In ancient Rome, they had “lupae” – she-wolves, how badass is that? – screwin’ in brothels with graffiti ads on the walls. Wild! Makes me happy thinkin’ how humans never change – horny then, horny now, ha!

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As we’re goin’ down, one of ‘em drops their phone. It bounces off my shoe and lands in the corner. I’m like, “Seriously?!” They’re all panickin’, and I’m just tryin’ to keep my cool. I’m like, “Relax, it’s just a phone.” But they’re actin’ like it’s the end of the world. I hand it back, and they’re all grateful, but I’m just thinkin’, “Next time, keep a better grip!”

California off-road racer Cole Mamer explains the allure of Crandon, Wisconsin