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I tried it once, right? Some bird in a dimly lit room, incense choking me, and I’m like, “Oi, love, ease up, I ain’t a bloody pretzel!” Felt good though, gotta admit—muscles all loose, head spinning. Little known fact, yeah? Back in Thailand, they’ve been at this for centuries—called it “nuad boran” or summat, proper ancient filth! Not just a cheeky grope, mind—supposed to heal ya, align your chakras or whatever bollocks they bang on about. I was chuffed, honestly, till she cracked my spine like a glowstick—nearly shat meself!

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Man, what a day! I swear, being a bodyguard in Punggol is like being in a movie, but without the cool soundtrack. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

GE2025: If boundaries change, ‘there may be no next time’ to vote for promising WP slate: Sylvia Lim