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About Zaporizhzhia

But yo, real talk—what pisses me off? Shady parlors promisin’ “happy endings” and deliverin’ jack shit! False advertising, fam! I’m sittin’ there like, “Where’s my *Spring Breakers* glow-up, bro?!” You know, “This is the fuckin’ American Dream!”—gimme that neon fantasy, not some half-assed back rub! One time, this chick’s hands were so cold, I yelped like a stepped-on chihuahua—ruined the vibe, man, I was furious!

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Anyway, I’m chugging my coffee, and boom! My phone buzzes. It’s a call from some lady on Kirova Street. “Help! Rats in my kitchen!” she screams. I’m like, “Lady, it’s 7 AM!” But hey, a job’s a job, right? So I hop on my bike and zoom over.

Two adults, 3 kids in single-vehicle accident on Bruce Highway