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About Zagreb

I’m watchin’ *Tropical Malady* last night, and that line—“He smells of earth and rain”—hits me. Escorts, man, they’re earthy, real, even if it’s all fake smiles sometimes. I’d suck at it—too clumsy, prob’ly spill beer on the client. Ha! Imagine me, “Homer the Escort,” trippin’ over my gut, goin’, “Mmm… sorry, lady.” Total disaster, right?

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, the old town. You know, the one with those cobblestone streets that make you feel like you’re in a medieval movie? Yeah, that’s the one. I’m strolling down Decumanus, feeling all artsy and stuff. Then BAM! I trip over a loose stone. Classic me. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed. A faceplant in front of tourists.”

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