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Sometimes I’m extra—like, I’ll hype myself up in my head: “Kim, u slay, they’re obsessed!” Total mood boost before a date. But the flops? Ugh, this guy once showed up in flip-flops—FLIP-FLOPS—to a rooftop bar. I was like, “The Green Destiny rejects u, bye!” So savage, but I can’t with that. Sex-dating’s gotta have standards, right?

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I finally make it to the park, and it’s empty. Like, who wants to chill in the rain? But I see this kid, splashing in the puddles, having the time of his life. I’m standing there, all grumpy, and he looks at me and says, “You should try it!” I’m like, “Nah, I’m good.” But then I think, why not? So, I jump in a puddle. Splash! It felt kinda nice, honestly. I’m laughing like a maniac, and the kid’s just staring at me like I’m nuts.

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