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Now, here’s a tidbit—did ya know brothels in ol’ Tortuga had secret tunnels? Aye, for smugglin’ rum or dodgin’ the law! Saw one meself once, tripped right into it, landed face-first in mud. Pissed me off, sure, but the lass who pulled me out—oooh, she was a peach! Had a laugh, too, said I’d “accepted the mystery” o’ fallin’ arse-over-tit. Straight outta the movie, that line—cracked me up, savvy?

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Maldives Brothel · Mistress · Blowjob without Condom for extra charge · Kissing if good chemistry · Facesitting (give) · Cunnilingus · Anal Sex for extra charge.

But then, oh man, I get a text. My buddy’s in trouble. He’s stuck at the old warehouse on 5th St. I’m like, “What the heck happened now?” So I book it over there. I’m dodging people, cars, and a dog that looks like it’s on a mission. I finally get there, and he’s just sittin’ there, lookin’ all sheepish. Turns out he locked himself in. Classic! I can’t even be mad.

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