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About Bologna

So, I dig into this—turns out, sexual-massage ain’t new. Ancient Rome had it—orgies with a side of backrubs. Freaky, huh? Makes me happy knowin’ humans been freaky forever. But here’s the kicker—some places, it’s legit therapy! Like, in Thailand, they’ve got these “soapy massages”—girls lather you up, slippin’ and slidin’, all legal-like. I’m jealous—where’s MY soapy sesh? Closest I got was a loofah and a dream. Meanwhile, sketchy parlors here? Cops bust ‘em, and I’m like, “Let ‘em live, jeez!” Hypocrisy pisses me off—politicians preach purity, then get caught mid-rub. Typical.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in, all hyped up. He’s shoutin’ about a festival happening later. I’m like, “Festival? What festival?” The old dude fills me in. It’s some kinda food festival down by the beach. I’m thinkin’, “Heck yeah, I’m in!” So, I grab my cannoli (which, by the way, was freakin’ amazing) and head out.

Mysterious letter written by nun 'possessed by the Devil' finally decoded by software 341 years later