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Me, I’d pair it with tunes—somethin’ slow, like Llewyn croonin’ “Fare thee well.” Sets the mood, y’know? But here’s the kicker: ya gotta trust the hands on ya. One wrong move, it’s awkward as hell—like Llewyn crashin’ on a couch that ain’t his. Done right? Pure bliss, my friend. So, yeah, sexual-massage—get over the stigma, try it, and screw the 1% hoardin’ it! “Billionaires should not exist!”—let’s democratize this shit!

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Then, lunchtime rolls around. I hit up the local bakery on Fő utca. Best lángos in town, no cap. I grab one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I see my ex. Great. Just what I needed. He’s with some new girl, and they’re all lovey-dovey. I’m like, “Whatever, I’m over it.” But inside, I’m screaming.

Five Dead In Hungary Train Crash