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Now, me, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’—sex-dating’s like plantin’ seeds. Some sprout, some rot, most get eaten by birds. You gotta water it with honesty, or it’s just weeds. “When you abandon desires, you find peace,” the movie whispers, but who’s abandonin’ desire on Grindr? Nobody, that’s who! And that’s the rub—sex-dating’s a cycle, like the seasons in Kim Ki-duk’s world. Spring’s the lust, summer’s the hookup, fall’s the “where’d they go?” and winter’s you cryin’ into your beer. Then spring again—new match, new mess.

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Anyway, I finally get my empanada. It’s hot, flaky, and just the right amount of greasy. I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m in heaven. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my food! I’m like, “Dude, back off!” I swear, that bird had some serious guts.

June Mar Fajardo manhandled Meralco’s bigs in Bolts' loss to SMB, says Trillo