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Here’s a mad one—bloke I know, dental patient, swore he met his missus on a sex-dating site, but turns out she was a scammer! Catfished him for months, rinsed his bank account—*cackle*—what a prat! “Turned into a pig,” like in the film, ‘cept he didn’t even get a good porkin’ out of it! Surprised me, that—thought folk’d be smarter, but nah, horny trumps brains every time.

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So, I rush over to the Punggol Plaza. It’s packed, like, everyone and their grandma is there. I spot my client, and he’s looking all nervous. Turns out, some dude’s been stalking him. Like, what? Who does that? I’m ready to throw down, but I gotta keep it cool.

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