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Oi mate, gather round, lemme ramble! Sexual-massage, eh, what a bloomin’ corker! Picture this, me sprawled out, all posh-like, thinkin’ of *Tabu*—that flick’s my fave, y’know, Miguel Gomes, 2012, pure genius! “Time has no pity,” it says, and blimey, neither does a dodgy masseuse! I’m Boris, right, bit of a shambles, but I reckon this massage lark’s got legs—*pedis moventur*, feet a-twitchin’!

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After that, I decide to head to the market on Strada Călărași. I’m craving some fresh fruit. The market’s always buzzing with energy. I grab some strawberries, and the vendor gives me a discount. Score! But then, I see this guy trying to haggle over a banana. A banana! Dude, just pay the 2 lei and move on!

Works at new subway line to airport bring changes to public transport routes in northern Bucharest