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Gets me buzzin’, honest—hands slidin’, muscles givin’ in, pure bliss. But—ugh—some dodgy parlors out there, yeah? Grubby vibes, sketchy blokes, pisses me off proper. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark.”—I see through that shite, mate. Had this one time, right, lass with magic fingers—thought I’d levitate! “This is the fuckin’ life!”—straight outta the movie, that’s me screamin’ in my head. Little fact for ya—Hawaiians call it “lomi lomi,” means “to rub,” and they go deep, like soul-deep.

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Finally, I get my drink, and I’m off to the uni. I’m walking down Øvre Rådhusgate, and I can’t help but admire the old buildings. They’ve got this history, you know? But then, outta nowhere, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me. I spill my latte all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking coffee stain.