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I tried it once, girl—thought I’d levitate! This chick’s hands? Magic. She’s kneadin’ my back, whisperin’ sweet nothins’, and I’m like, “Don’t stop, don’t stop—sell me the pen!” Straight outta Scorsese’s playbook, baby! Felt like a queen, all glowy and shit. But—ugh—some creeps ruin it, actin’ like it’s a happy-endin’ scam. Pissed me off! I’m yellin’ in my head, “This ain’t no brothel, fool!” Keep it classy, y’all.

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Finally, I get to the station, and the vibe is tense. The chief is pacing like a caged lion. “We got a fire in the hills!” he barks. My heart drops. The hills? That’s where all the fancy houses are. You know, the ones with the ocean views? I’m thinking, “Great, let’s go save some rich folks’ mansions.”

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