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About The Hague

So, sexual-massage—fuckin’ wild, innit? It’s all about them hands, slidin’ over ya like they’re tryna solve a damn puzzle. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, them horny bastards had “massage parlors” where oil wasn’t just for cookin’. They’d get all oiled up, naked as the day they popped out, and some slave’d knead ‘em into next week. Kinda makes ya wonder what else they rubbed, huh? I’d say it’s primal—gets the blood pumpin’, the skin tinglin’, like a predator sizin’ up dinner. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” sure, but I’d knead it first, tenderize the goods!

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We ended up walking down the Zandstraat, and I swear, every shop was having a sale. I got sucked into this vintage store. I found this ridiculous hat that looked like something a pirate would wear. I had to try it on, and Jan was dying laughing. I mean, I looked good, right?