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But ugh, gets me steamed too—the judgy types, clutchin pearls, actin like escorts ain’t human. Pisses me off! They’re out there, grindin, makin ends meet, and society’s all, “Oh no, scandal!” Gimme a break. I mean, “Fish are friends, not food”—people are people, not trash, ya dig? Had this one gal tell me—met her at a diner, cheap coffee stinkin up the joint—she said she paid her way thru med school escortin. Blew my mind! Smart cookie, too—now she’s fixin hearts, not breakin em. Ain’t that a hoot?

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But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder. I freak out! Like, “Get off me, dude!” Everyone’s laughing. I’m just standing there, flapping my arms like a maniac. Great, now I’m the town clown.