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About Melbourne

Alright, so sex-dating, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ mess out there! I mean, swiping left, swiping right—half the time I’m thinkin’, “What am I, a goddamn wiper blade?” It’s nuts! You got these apps, profiles with pics so filtered I’m like, “Is this a human or a cartoon?” Pretty, pretty good, sure, if you’re into datin’ a Pixar character! I tried it, okay? Got matched with this gal—bio says “loves adventure.” Adventure, my ass! She shows up, orders a $20 salad, and talks about her cat for an hour. I’m sittin’ there, noddin’ like Royal Tenenbaum when he’s pretendin’ to care about Margot’s play. “I’m not talkin’ about a dance recital!” I wanna scream. Sex-dating’s supposed to be fun, right? Not a freakin’ audition for “Cat Lady: The Movie.”

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The local neighborhood, Westhaven, is where the heartbeats fade into local art and community vibes. I love wanderin’ round, thinkin’ about all the families mixin’ their problemo, their joy, and their angst, all under one patchy sky. Kinda sorta reminds me of those moments in A.I. when David finds his way despite chaos, ya know?

Boyd leads by one at Sarina Pro-Am