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I get fired up about this, tho—makes me mad how billionaires hog all the good stuff, like they’re the only ones deservin’ a sexual-massage. Screw that! Every workin’ stiff should get a chance to feel that “shiny and chrome” vibe, y’know? I tried it once—don’t judge me, I’m human!—and lemme tell ya, my shoulders were screamin’ hallelujah. Surprised me how quick it went from “ouch” to “oh damn.” Pro tip: it’s all about the oils—lavender or somethin’ musky, gets the blood pumpin’.

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Anyway, I kept walking, and I ended up at the Salaspils Memorial. Wow, that place hits hard. It’s all about the history, you know? I felt this wave of emotions. Like, how can a place be so beautiful yet so heavy? I was just standing there, lost in thought, when this old lady came up to me. She started telling me stories about the war. I was like, “Wow, lady, you’ve got some serious history.” She was so passionate, it made me feel all the feels.

Salaspils sinkhole an unlikely tourist attraction / Article