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Personal take? Had one once—fuckin’ mind-blowing. Lady’s hands like goddamn magic, slippin’ everywhere, teasin’ shit you didn’t know could tingle. I’m thinkin’, “Am I real? Is this real?”—straight outta Kaufman’s flick! “You only see a tenth of what’s true,” he says, and motherfucker, that’s the vibe! You’re lyin’ there, half-naked, wonderin’ if you’re in a porno or a dream. Laughed my ass off after—felt like a king, but a dumbass king.

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First off, I hit up the local café on the corner of Hithadhoo Magu. You know, the one with the best mas huni? I’m sittin’ there, chowing down, when this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder! Like, what? Who brings a parrot to breakfast? I’m just tryna enjoy my tuna and flatbread, and here’s this guy, all “Polly wants a cracker!” I almost spit out my coffee.

59-yo man found dead, on landing craft