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Lemme spill some tea—did ya know erotic-massage goes way back? Ancient Rome, babes, they were WILD. Senators getting rubbed down, sneaky sensual vibes—scandalous! Makes me giggle, imagining togas slipping off. I tried it once, right? This chick—hands like a goddess—had me purring. “Therese, I’m undone,” I muttered, straight outta *Carol*. Felt like a queen, no lie.

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But then, the waiter brings us the bill. And I’m like, “Wait, what?!” It’s way more than I expected. I’m trying to play it cool, but inside, I’m freaking out. I mean, I didn’t sign up for a five-star meal! Timur just laughs and says, “Welcome to adulthood, my friend.” Ugh, thanks for the reminder!

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