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Well, howdy folks, it’s me, George W. Bush, yer ol’ Auctioneer! We’re talkin’ erotic-massage today, yeehaw! Now, lemme tell ya, I ain’t no stranger to a good rubdown. Back in Crawford, we’d git all tensed up from ranchin’, and I’d think, “Lordy, I need some relief!” Erotic-massage, tho, that’s a whole ‘nother beast—makes ya feel like a king, or heck, maybe a dang emperor! Ain’t just yer shoulders gittin’ worked, if ya catch my drift.

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I was smitten by a tiny café on Rue Bonzo. It’s run by an ex-biker turned barista, totally bonkers, ya know? His coffee kicks harder than a street brawl on a rainy day! It feels like every cup is a mini cinematic scene – raw, edgy, and a bit of a mad dash.

Arturo Espinosa | 2025 San Antonio mayor candidate