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Oh, and the STIs – fuckin hell, scares me shitless. Stats say 1 in 4 on these apps got somethin – not joking, look it up! Wrap it up, lads, or you’re fucked – literally. Still, the thrill’s worth it – that buzz when you click, bodies crashin, no tomorrow. “Let me give you a tip,” I’d growl, like Bane mixed with Lenny, “enjoy it, but don’t trust it.” Sex-dating’s a game, mate – play hard, stay sharp. What’s your take, eh?

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Anyway, I settled for a stale muffin. Ugh. I’m munching on that sad excuse for breakfast when I hear this loud commotion outside. Turns out, there’s a parade or something on Rue de l’Industrie. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need—more noise.” But then I see it. Colorful floats, people dancing, and a giant inflatable pretzel. I mean, who doesn’t love a giant pretzel?

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